I Do

September 17th, 2005 - our wedding day.
Just the idea that we would get married was surprising to many of our close friends. Neither of us were the marrying kind, or so they thought. Too traditional, they said. Even more surprising was how traditional the was wedding. But I wouldn't have it any other way.

What is the point of getting married? For me it was a language issue. The term 'girlfriend' just didn't seem to cut it. Actually, worse: it seemed to sell short what we had. I tried partner, but that often left people with the impression I was gay. Not so bad, just untrue. I wanted the words that implied the depth, and commitment of our relationship. I wanted to say things like, "Have you met my wife?" Luckily she felt the same way.

What I didn't know, was how important it was to me to have all of our friends present. How the public aspect of declaring your love for someone could be so profound. I don't simply mean the vows we spoke, but also the people who stood to speak about us and those took the chance to say personally all the things we sometimes think are understood and don't need to be said. Yet hearing them has a magical effect. I didn't think that my bride and I, having lived together for years already, would feel dramatically different and I don't suppose we do. But, I do feel closer to all our friends for both the words of kindness and for having shared something so personal and so important.

I couldn't have asked for a better day. Despite the overwhelming degree of planning that you put into a single day, so much can go wrong. With an open bar, that possibility is astronomically bigger. While I am dissapointed to say that we didn't have even a hint of fistcuffs, there was a least a little scandal on the dance floor. But as my mother said, "It was great. I haven't been groped in years."