If only the Jipper had been drunk, he would be fine now and not the gimp he is. And the Jipper I've known would have been. We'd had plenty of access to free liquor all through dinner and Jipper turned it down. He and I were at a work event and after dinner we joined a lively bunch of co-workers in a bar. We each ordered a beer and before Jip could take his first sip, he was in need of some medical attention.
It is hard to say what happened for sure. I can't say whether the glass was cracked already or if it was too hot coming out of the dishwasher and the beer too cold out of the tap or if Jip is just super strong and dangerously unaware of his awesome power. What I do know is that had he been drunk, he'd have been fine.
You see, as the waitress handed him the pint, Jipper crushed it in his hand. If he'd have stopped at that, it would have fallen harmlessly to the floor, spraying people's feet with foam and shards of glass. Instead he tried to catch it. Instinctive. Sudden. He reached out and tried to snatch the glass as it dropped from his hand, already shattered into long shards. Had he been loaded, the delayed reaction would have saved him.
Jip caught the glass, cutting himself to the bone. He lacerated a tendon and nicked a nerve. After a few long hours in a dingy small town emergency ward, he was told he needed to schedule some surgery. They stitched him up, but he flew home the next morning to see a specialist. Turns out he'll be fine. He's got a cast on and it looks like he's thumbs up for a while.
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