Golf Umbrellas

I can't say whether March has come in like a lamb or a lion. It seems closer to a wet dog - stand back he'll shake off soon. And I don't think that either Punxsutawney Phil or Wiarton Willie's jurisdiction extends over the Rocky Mountains. So I don't know how much longer our winter will last. Actually, I don't know why we hold on to the notion that we even have four seasons. Really, for many of us, we have two. Whether it is Ski season and Golf season, or Soccer season and Baseball season, or just plain old wet season and dry season, we still only have two.
While I neither golf nor ski, I am very happy to see the tail end of the ski season approaching. 'Bring on golf', I say. Bring on that silly game that frustrates everyone who plays it. Head out to your courses with your irons, your woods, your tees, your stash of beer - but please don't forget to take those wretched umbrellas with you.
The thing I hate most about golf is the stupid oversized umbrellas. I don't mind them on the course. I don't golf on sunny days, let alone rainy ones. So do what you like on the fairway. It is after all twenty yards wide. But leave our sidewalks Golf Umbrella free.
I've thought we should ban them from our streets - these multicoloured eye gougers. Leave us with our drab little black eye pokers. But then I thought, what would be next? Would people start walking down sidewalks with their patio umbrellas? I mean, just in the wet season.