I have been traveling a lot lately. Too much, to be sure. Enough to have missed a connection in Chicago and thereby lose my luggage. Which, I understand is not extraordinary. Losing your luggage between Austin and Toronto, then not staying put long enough for it to catch up to you until you reach Montreal is less ordinary. Even more so, if in that time you'd been to Vancouver and Boston as well.
Leaving Boston, heading towards my luggage, working with a tight rotation of clothes and toiletry travel bag given to me by a courteous United Airlines representative, I was reluctant to check my luggage. I opted instead for carry on, which for me is unusual. In my carry on was a small tube of toothpaste. Granted, not as small as the one I first found in my complimentary toiletry bag. That was ridiculous. Nonetheless, I had forgotten about the tube of toothpaste and as it passed through the x-ray machine I am sure it looked ominous. Ominous enough to search my bag.
Now, being a passenger I am all in favour of safety. I don't want people boarding my flight with tubes of toothpaste packed with high explosives. So had that meant that I had to surrender my potentially lethal Colgate, then so be it. I can understand that level of paranoia.
What I don't understand is how this lethal weapon of mass destruction was a danger to our safety inside a zippered nylon bag buried in amongst clothes inside a zippered duffel bag, but that if that same weapon of mass destruction was inside a plastic ziploc bag, well then we would be safe. Safe as houses. It is as if John Cleese is the director of security.
"What's this? Is this C-4, a highly explosive device?"
"Why yes, yes it is."
"Do you have a Ziploc bag?"
"No, no I don't."
"Well then I don't see how we can let you on the plane with it, can we?"
Are there Lobbyist of the year awards? If so, someone from Ziploc has got to be a shoe in.
I am a patient man. Sometimes too patient. Sometimes I wait patiently when I should be approaching the counter and confirming that my name is actually on the list instead of assuring Donna that we just need to be patient. Few things cause what impatience I have to stir. Most notably Claudio Lopez. It is as if he has a gift.
