The Borthwick

Somewhere out there is a man named Borthwick. He's a friend of my friend JP. And within their circle it was well known that during an evening out at a bar or something of the sort, he would - without warning - disappear. He would get tired and rather than announce that he was done and wanted to go home, he would quietly exit. A move like that gets you out of dealing with the cries of 'one more' or 'you can't leave yet, it's early'. For them, this social maneuver became known as simply 'the Borthwick'.

I have Borthwicked before and I'll do it again. It is a socially offside move, but at least there is pride in the decisiveness of it. 'The Wanless' however lacks that strength. It is the Borthwick with the added twist of announcing your intention to Borthwick. There isn't any pride in Wanlessing. It aims to please and yet is somewhat pathetic while trying to do so. It is less defiant and self-willed and more just throwing in the towel.

Some people try to Borthwick and fail. With the intention of going out the back door, they say things like I'm just going to the washroom. Not that that is a bad excuse. Personally, I would never sully a good Borthwick with that kind of clutter, but it can be effective and would still qualify as a Borthwick. That is ... if you are credible, if we in fact believe you are coming back.

And with that, Maxine, I say to you, "You Wanlessed."